No Good for Anything

Gunga Din

January 1939 •English

British army sergeants Ballantine, Cutter and MacChesney serve in India during the 1880s, along with their native water-bearer, Gunga Din. While completing a dangerous telegraph-repair mission, they unearth evidence of the suppressed Thuggee cult. When Gunga Din tells the sergeants about a secret temple made of gold, the fortune-hunting Cutter is captured by the Thuggees, and it's up to his friends to rescue him.

The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp

July 1943 •English

General Candy, who's overseeing an English squad in 1943, is a veteran leader who doesn't have the respect of the men he's training and is considered out-of-touch with what's needed to win the war. But it wasn't always this way. Flashing back to his early career in the Boer War and World War I, we see a dashing young officer whose life has been shaped by three different women, and by a lasting friendship with a German soldier.

Hell-to-Pay Austin

August 1916 •English

After her father's death, little Briar Rose is taken in by the men at a lumber camp. The girl shows a definite preference for one of the lumberjacks, "Hell-to-Pay" Austin, so he becomes her new "father." Just as much as Hell-to-Pay takes care of Briar, she watches over him, and it is largely through her influence that he gives up hard drinking and needless fighting. Then, when Briar is old enough, she goes away to school and quickly falls in with the wrong crowd. Hell-to-Pay comes after her and takes her away from Doris Valentine, an adventuress who had been teaching Briar the tricks of the trade. When they are reunited, Hell-to-Pay and Briar realize that they are in love, so they decide to change their relationship from guardian and ward to husband and wife.

The Heiress at Coffee Dan's

December 1916 •English

"Waffles," the waitress at "Coffee Dan's" hash-house, is selected by Bert Gallagher and Clara Johnstone, a pair of crooks, to be represented as a missing heiress whose story they have read about in the papers. "Waffles" herself believes the story, as she was orphaned early and remembers little of her childhood, and by adroit coaching is able to convince the estate's none too bright lawyers of the validity of her claim. With this unlimited money, poor little "Waffles" nevertheless has only three desires: to buy the little restaurant for her old benefactor, Shorty Olson, to publish the music written by her lover, Carl Miller, a young, eccentric, absent-minded musical genius, and to adopt the baby that a Mrs. O'Shaughnessy is too poor to care for.

The Walk-Offs

February 1920 •English

After the divorce of Schuyler Rutherford from his rich wife Caroline, who was his meal ticket, Schuyler's sister Kathleen is so humiliated by the fact that her penniless condition was brought to light during the court proceedings that she seeks solace in her friend, sculptress Mary Carter. Mary offers her friend a job as her secretary and, while working, she becomes acquainted with Mary's wealthy cousin Robert Winston when she overhears him denouncing parasitic girls like Kathleen. Vowing revenge, Kathleen assumes a false name and obtains a position as Robert's secretary, determined to make him fall in love with her.

Glass Houses

March 1922 •English

When a wealthy young lady loses her inheritance, she decides to apply for work in disguise. In prim and proper working girl attire she becomes the respectable companion of a woman looking to reform her wayward nephew.

Society Snobs

February 1921 •English

Lorenzo Carilo selects more-or-less menial jobs at which to make a living, other more "select" jobs not paying enough, and then he meets and falls in love with Vivian Forrester the daughter of a new-rich family. What's a poor boy to do? He might pose as a French Duke.

Commander of Six Corps

February 1917 •Hungarian

Polly Ann

September 1917 •English

Young Polly-Ann works in a small town inn as a maidservant. A troupe of actors comes to town and the innocent girl falls in love with one of its members. Howard Straightlane is sent to the small town by his father, to work as a schoolteacher in hopes of smartening up the young man from his wild ways. Howard soon meets Polly-Ann and saves her from the unscrupulous actor.

Matrimony Blues

May 1926 •English

Short film about the title subject played for laughs.

Edgar's Feast Day

February 1921 •English

Episode 11 of the series of 2-reel comedies “The Adventures and Emotions of Edgar Pomeroy”.

Snafu

November 1945 •English

A 14-year-old boy lies about his age and enlists in the United State Marine Corps without his family's consent or knowledge. He is sent into battle in the Pacific war-zone, decorated, and spotted in a newsreel by his family. The family asks the War Department to discharge him and send him home.

The Brazen Beauty

September 1918 •English

Jacala, a strong-willed, temperamental ranch girl, inherits her father's millions and moves from Montana to New York, determined to earn a place in society.

A Broadway Scandal

June 1918 •English

Having been misinformed that all French girls are morally suspect, American soldier David Kendall (Edwin August) is in for quite a shock when he's shipped Over There. After meeting several "nice" Frenchwomen, David returns to the states with a whole new perspective on things. It isn't long before he falls in love with Nenette (Carmel Myers), the daughter of French-born restaurateur Armande Bisson (Andrew Robson). But when Nenette is implicated in a murder, the disillusioned David instantly repudiates her -- and by extension, all Daughters of France.

The Misjudged Mr. Hartley

January 1915 •English

In honor of his return from abroad, Mrs. Worthington invites her cousin, Brian Hartley, to dinner that evening, but forgets to tell him she has moved from her old address. He goes to the old home where he is met at the door by Celia Thayer, a guest of the Holbrooks, who now occupy the residence. None of the family being at home, Ceclia admits him, thinking he has been invited to dinner. When her hostess does not arrive the two have dinner together and become quite infatuated. Later it develops that the house was robbed while Mr. Hartley was there and, of course, he is suspected.

The Fable of Elvira and Farina and the Meal Ticket

February 1915 •English

The Fable of Elvira and Farina and the Meal Ticket is a 1915 silent film directed by Richard Foster Baker. Gloria Swanson made her first credited appearance in this film as Farina.

The Misleading Lady

January 1916 •English

Helen Steele, who has theatrical aspirations, has been told by Sidney Parker that, owing to her lack of stage experience he cannot entertain her proposition of giving her the leading part in his new production, "The Siren." Believing that she can get Parker to consent if she is persuasive enough, Helen has her fiancé, Henry Tracey, invite the theatrical manager to the party to be given by John W. Cannell so that she may work upon him. At the affair Helen manages to obtain Parker's consent to give her a trial it she is successful in having Jack Craigen, a friend of Cannell, who has been living in Patagonia for a long time and who is a woman hater, propose to her.

The Ghost Girl

April 1919 •English

This tells of a pretty miss, expelled from a girls' school, who goes in for a harmless adventure. She poses as a slum girl and is taken in tow by a snobbish society girl, who at first befriends and then tries to impose, upon her.

Cartouche

March 1962 •French

In the 18th century, Louis de Bourguignon is working with the Malichot's gang, but their ways are too 'unethical' for him. He creates his own band, acting under the name of Cartouche, making audacious robberies of the rich people, and even distributing the takings with the poor. Thus, cartouche attracts the people's sympathies, Venus's love, and hate from the Police and Malichot... Cartouche can escape all the traps they set at him - except the entrapments of love. Eventually, he will be saved by a woman, at her own cost.

Penny of Top Hill Trail

June 1921 •English

Penny arrives in the West by aeroplane. She is considered a suspicious character and thrown into jail. Kurt Walters, a ranch foreman and deputy sheriff, discovers that she is the same girl that his friend, Jo Gary, met in Chicago. Gary fell in love with her, but she confessed she was a thief. Since Penny claims she wants to reform, Walters releases her and sends her to live with Mrs. Kingdon. In spite of her teasing and taunts (or perhaps because of them), Walters finds himself falling in love with Penny.